Saturday, 20 December 2008

'Proper Blog' Apparently...

I’m half watching Most Haunted as I write this so apologies in advance, I may start to write sloppily if I get distracted by a good bit (for ‘good’ read ‘unintentionally funny’)

Anyway, last night I promised a ‘proper’ blog, I’m not sure if I can follow up such a foolish brag, but I’ll try.

On Thursday and Friday I performed at two of the three ‘Lessons and Carols for Godless People’ shows. The two I performed at were held at the Bloomsbury Theatre, the third will be at the Hammersmith Apollo on Sunday.

So yes, arguably the biggest gigs I’ve ever done! Amazingly they didn’t freak me out, which given the line up, the media attention and the venue, I had more than expected they would.

I think having the flu this week helped. I was in a Nytol/Lemsip induced haze, which probably assisted in sufficiently relaxing me. Plus the general atmosphere both back stage and in the audience was so lovely that nerves only came into it during the long walk from the side of the stage to the mic, and the initial shock of looking out at a packed theatre.

Unfortunately the only excellent back stage gossip I have, it would be totally unprofessional of me to blog about, sorry! But rest assured it is most excellent.

But on to the stuff I can actually talk about.

...Ooh, Derek’s doing one of his fake possessions and Stewart’s fallen over.

Told you I’d get distracted. I’m not turning it off though...

So yes, the line up was amazing and everyone was brilliant. Sounds arse kissy I know, but it’s just the truth, every act was so good. I watched the whole show from the side of the stage on night two and really enjoyed everyone.

I’ll try and remember as much as I can...

Stewart Lee did a great bit about how Richard Dawkins disproves evolution – “nothing as complex and wonderful as Professor Richard Dawkins could just evolve by accident”. And he revived his brilliant Pope John Paul II lollipop material.

Richard Herring did a great gag about God secretly loving it when people have anal sex.

Josie Long told an anecdote about David Hume with a very surprising punch line. She was great to watch as ever, so unique and uncontrived. You never know where she’s going with something, and that’s rare.

Isy Suttie and Gavin Osborne did a really lovely duet, with her playing the role of his first girlfriend who he’d split up with because she was a devout Christian and he was an Atheist and it was coming between them.

Darren Hayman and his mate Dan did a great song about Peter Gabriel which I have been singing all day. I could go on and on...

Actually I will, Ben Goldacre, author of Bad Science gave a very moving talk about how alternative therapies have hindered the treatment of AIDS in Africa. He summed up with the line “don’t let anyone tell you bullshit is harmless” Couldn’t agree more.

Simon Singh, a physics writer, told us about an article he’d written (http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2005/sep/30/highereducation.uk)where he’d deconstructed Katie Melua’s song Nine Million Bicycles, and then played us the revised version that Katie re-recorded for him after having read and liked his article.

Richard Dawkins, arguably one of the biggest draws of the night, did a reading.

Colin Watson did an insane song and Jo Neary did an insane dance. Neither of which I could hope to sum up here, but both were hilarious.

Tim Minchin closed with a beat poetry piece which was clever, life affirming and very, very funny.

I won’t rattle off any more half arsed descriptions of people’s acts. We’d be here all day. So I’ll just finish rounding up the roll call of acts - Phill Jupitus, Mark Thomas, Andrew Collins, Natalie Haynes, Ricky Gervais and Chris Addison were all really good too, and Robin Ince, the organiser, was an excellent compere.

Oh and The Mystery Fax Machine Orchestra who provided the music, and brought everyone on to a tune of their choice, were terrific.

My intro tune was ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town’ because it tied in fairly neatly with my opening gag where I mix up Santa and Jesus.

The New Humanist team were all there, handing out free copies of the current issue.

They were seated in the upper circle and said that during the interval they looked down and saw a sea of people reading God Trumps!

It’s hard to sum up the night as it was a real, ‘you had to be there’ kind of event. Plus I was wandering around in a daze so can’t really recall the finer details.

My favourite bit aside from performing, and meeting everyone, and well, ‘all of it’, was signing the t-shirts that were being sold in the foyer. We were all sitting back stage, with a pile of t-shirts and silver marker pens, in a production line formation. I doubt anyone who buys a t-shirt will know who the hell Christina Martin is but it’s the first time I’ve autographed anything besides a mates’ Viz annual so I was psyched!

Well what do you know? It’s a Most Haunted double bill tonight. I’m giving this one my undivided attention. Ta ta!

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