As you can see from the title, this blog is a mixed bag!
First things first. A ‘shock’ poll result came out today, which revealed that 1 in 5 people believe it’s acceptable for a man to slap his wife or girlfriend.
My, my, but don’t we live in enlightened times?
By the way, I put shock in inverted commas then because if you know anything about domestic violence statistics, it really isn’t one.
This result came out on the same day that plans were unveiled by the Government to compile a register of wife beaters, so that women can look into a potential partner’s past.
Something that would be quite handy to say the least, given that most men don’t tell you on a first date that they’re planning to throw you down the stairs.
Anyway, predictably there’s been an outcry.
When it was reported on the TV news this morning the counter argument straight away was, “But what about these men’s rights?”
Erm, what about them?
And what right are you referring to? The right to beat women in peace?
Here’s a thought. What about a woman’s more pressing right to safety?
The other argument was “What about reformed characters? This will drag their good name through the mud.”
Well, in the 000000000000.1% of cases where a man who ‘only did it the once’ – as though that excuses it – gets put on the register, that’s too bad. The greater good is more important.
Anyhow, it’s a bullshit argument. If someone abuses a child they go on the sex offender’s register, even if they ‘only’ did it once. As is right and proper. Once is enough, in regard to any crime.
I know loads of guys who have managed to get through their entire life without raising their hand to a woman. It’s not hard.
Responses like this are unique to crimes against women. Everyone seems to rush to the defence of the perpetrator.
Got raped? You were probably wearing a short skirt.
Got beaten? You probably provoked him.
We’re talking about women getting beaten up but somehow the concern is for the men beating them. Peculiar…
The final argument was “What about all the women who beat up men, will they get the same treatment?”
To those people I would say, look at the Google search results for 'women killed each week domestic violence' and then look at the Google search results for 'men killed each week domestic violence'
166 hits to 3.
There’s no doubt that men can be victims of domestic violence but it’s quite obvious where the main problem lies.
Anyway, changing the subject completely, and in an attempt to lighten the mood, I must share this with you.
I was watching Family Fortunes on Challenge yesterday – the old school Les Dennis episodes, none of this new fangled Vernon Kay rubbish thank you very much – and the question was ‘Name a superstition’.
Someone answered ‘spitting when you see a white horse’
By the way, this contestant had been outstandingly entertaining thus far, having already said 'chicken' in answer to the question, 'Bird's name that is also a Christian name'
Anyway, when Les queried it with him he said "it's what my mother in law always does"
At this point James and I were crying laughing, but it actually turns out that he was right.
Sort of...
I later found this list of horse based superstitions.
As you’ll see, his mother in law should actually have been spitting when she saw a gray horse. The correct procedure for a white horse is to cross your fingers. Obviously!
My favourite one is: If you see a black horse, shake your fist at the horse three times while making a wish. If the horse looks at you, there's a better chance of the wish coming true.
You learn something new every day…
And finally, Derek Acorah channels a dog. Superb:
3 comments:
Comic relief has made a film in which they say 1 in 6 teenage girls have been hit by their boyfriends. They start young.
I was assaulted by someone I'd dated a couple of times - not even a boyfriend - about 36 years ago. The police dismissed it as a "domestic" and I was bound over to keep the peace, as though it was a fight. When I appealed, the binding over was dismissed as a "nonsense" and my attacker was fined. The same day, a poacher who'd shot a pheasant was fined twice as much as my attacker. Things are supposed to be better nowadays, but ...
I'm all for a database that people can check up on for abusive partners, the idea that someone can physically assault another person and then carry on to do it again is ridiculous.
I think the problem though is that it'd need to be done right, at what level would people be put onto the database? Would an accusation be enough or a criminal conviction? Convictions are small compared to the number of actual offences carried out so if it was based on them, how much use would it actually be? If its lower than a conviction, what recourse does someone have if they're put on there falsely? Yes, this may be a very small number of cases but how many would be required for it to be a problem exactly?
And it wouldn't exactly be a big issue to open it up to abusive women aswell as men, the number is a lot smaller but again, how many is enough for it to matter?
All of these issues can be dealt with though so there is a working system that protects the (99% women) abused.
If its just a database of those criminally convicted worst offenders, then great, put them all on there and who cares if they complain about their rights, they lost the right to complain.
Aphra: I saw that statistic too. I saw another poll, can’t remember where, which indicated that teenage girls had come to expect this sort of treatment. And that teenage boys had come to feel within their rights doing it. Very worrying. Thanks so much for your story.
MrHaytch: You raise some good points. And I do agree that there is nothing to stop women from being included. I just found it irritating that everyone went straight into 'poor hard done by men' mode. There will undoubtedly be a lot of intricacies to consider in the actual execution of this idea. For myself, I’m speaking broadly about the principle of the thing, the myriad complexities will, thankfully, be up to the experts to iron out!
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