Tuesday, 29 December 2009
At lunch today I went to the bank to pay a cheque in.
It does get more interesting than that.
Anyway, I looked out of the window and saw a man on the opposite side of the road holding a sign which said ‘you sinner’
This, naturally, held my gaze.
After a while he saw me looking, and we made eye contact. At which point he started to cross the road.
The thought that he might be making a beeline for me entered my head, but I dismissed it.
Surely he wouldn’t come into a crowded bank, walk into the middle of a bank queue and evangelise to me.
Well, I learned something today. You should never underestimate someone who carries a sign saying ‘you sinner’ around with them. They don’t stick to the received social mores.
So in he came.
He walked up to the front of the queue and asked me, – really sheepishly I might add – “Did you...did you erm, know, you’re a sinner?”
I said, “You don’t sound so sure yourself”
He laughed nervously and then went away.
This is where it gets good.
As I was being served I heard a bit of confused conversation coming from the front end of the branch.
Turns out, after finishing his very brief chat with me, he’d sat himself down at an empty desk, where the mortgage advisers usually sit – none of the staff had noticed – and people were coming in and going to him for mortgage and financial advice.
As I was leaving I saw a couple come in and say to him “Excuse me can you tell me about the interest rates on your savings accounts”
He replied “No, but I can tell you about our Lord Jesus Christ”
If that happened in a sitcom it would be deemed implausible. My life is an implausible sitcom. Official.
One more thing that I must share with you.
We were watching Bid TV last night (yes, again) and there was a lady standing in for Paul Ross, hosting his DVD evening for him.
She was trying to sell this:
But couldn’t stop laughing at it.
At one point she was muttering, through the tears of laughter, “I can’t do this...I can’t do this”
After a while she started fiddling with her ear piece and pulled herself together.
I think she was getting a telling off.
Just goes to show, it takes a real pro like Paul, to peddle really bad box sets and not laugh at them.
She could also learn a thing or two from Peter Simon, who managed to sell a toilet seat with a picture of a dog’s face on it without so much as a snigger.
Happy New Year everyone!
Wednesday, 9 December 2009
This time last year I performed at a couple of Robin Ince’s Nine Lessons and Carols for Godless People shows.
Look, there I am now. Under some stage lights that are conspiring to make me look ginger.
Well, the second night was filmed for posterity – which is bloody typical as I had a much better gig on the first night. I know, I know, excuses schmexcuses – and is now available as a DVD from gofasterstripe.com
So, you know, buy it and that.
Not because I’m on it (unless you’re my mum) but because properly good people like Stewart Lee and Richard Herring are on there. And the money goes to charidee.
I won’t be performing during this year’s run. I couldn’t make the dates I was offered.
I saw Robin last night at the launch party of the Atheist’s Guide to Christmas and he kindly asked if I could do any of the other dates, but I’m pretty much back to back between now and Christmas and even if I weren’t, it’s a bit late for Robin to have to mess around with his running orders.
I also got to thank him for all his help during the Face of Kinder competition.
The massive spike in my blog hits that you can see here:
That was down to Robin Ince and Peter Serafinowicz circulating the link one evening over on Twitter.
And of course as we all know, it paid off!
Anyway, one last quick thing before I sign off.
I am apparently going to be on Radio 5 on Friday talking about my Amazon reviews.
I’m not sure of the details yet, but will post them here when I have them.