Thursday, 6 May 2010

Election Day Blog

So here it is, my election day blog.

I don’t have much to say about the election though unfortunately, so let’s talk about the ‘Pick Me Up’ Top Tip pages.

‘Pick Me Up’ beats ‘Viz’ by a country mile when it comes to Top Tips – because ‘Pick Me Up’ readers aren’t even joking.

Bearing that in mind, here are a choice few that I wanted to share with you:

Click on the picture to maximise

A tip there, for people whose cats hate them.

Despite what she says, the cat still looks like it ‘minds’. Check out that death stare.

Now this one is just plan sinister.

Click on the picture to maximise

Disembodied monkey heads...

Surely it would have been easier, and considerably less insane, to just ask your brats to stop swinging the light cord?

I don’t know what to say about this next one.

Click on the picture to maximise

Um, yeah.

And finally, some understated tragedy

Click on the picture to maximise

The heady combination of (a) someone needing to steal sauce (b) keeping it in an ‘old pencil case’ and (c) using it on bingo hall pies – well, I just want to cry for them.

I suppose I should say one thing about the election – especially given my current location; my office is above Tory HQ. The horror!

I live in an area where the Conservatives always come in first, followed by UKIP. Yes UKIP. That’s Surrey for you.

But nevertheless, I will be venturing out later to cast my pointless, wasted vote.

Venturing out, on foot, to cast my pointless, wasted vote – thanks to some jackass who parked their car across the front of my garage last night and are still there today.

Still, it has to be done. Imagine not even trying to prevent George Osborne from becoming a Chancellor!

1 comment:

Catie Wilkins said...

Awesome letters. Just goes to show, happiness isn't a cigar called Hamlet, it's a stolen source packet, taken out from an old pencil case, and put on a bingo pie.
You should put a scary note on that car with a level of threat implied, such as: 'Oh dear. You've blocked in 'Slasher' the angry mobster who just got out of prison. If you don't want him to rip off your head and spit down your neck, you should post £1000 of unmarked notes through the door of [your address here]'
eh? eh?
I see no problem with this as a plan.