Well here we are. 2011.
The flying cars I was hoping for yesterday don't seem to have transpired yet, which is disappointing. Still I suppose it's only just gone lunch time...
And the constant bingo website adverts on TV don't seem to have abated either. So much for progress!
Anyway, to business. I don't tend to make New Year Resolutions. I strive for constant self-improvement; hence the perfection. Not like you oiks with your tokenistic gym subscriptions, discarded come February, and your Diversity off Britain's Got Talent Dance Fitness DVDs (yes really) that don't even make it out of the cellophane. Shame on you! So, in the spirit of helping the unwashed masses I thought I'd give you some ideas for easy, achievable New Year Resolutions that even you can't mess up.
(The preceding paragraph was a joke. I do not think I am better than you)
(I know I am)
(Again, a joke)
Right, here goes.
The first is a one off thing, that takes only a couple of minutes to do: If you haven't already, sign up as an organ donor.
Only 28% of Brits have joined the register. Pretty lame - even after you've accounted for all the religious types who are precluded from signing up because of...um...well, I actually don't know what the religious grounds are for doggedly refusing to help someone after your death. But I'm sure they're water tight and very logical. And I'm sure those same people would refuse a life saving transplant if they needed one. Nobody likes a hypocrite after all.
I've strayed off topic a bit. Ah yes, so, I know people don't like to think about their mortality, but putting it to the back of your mind doesn't make you an immortal, and you may need an organ one day - so sign up!
The second is to register with Easyfundraising. Then whenever you shop online you can earn a donation for the charity of your choice. There are loads of online retailers listed on the site and all you have do is go to their sites via Easyfundraising. Nothing complicated or onerous.
So far I've earned £120. £38 when I booked my holiday to Japan, £20 when I bought my sofa, and lots of little amounts whenever I buy odds and ends from Amazon and Ebay. Ebay donate a massive 20% of every sale. It's easy money, and it makes splurging so much more justifiable!
The third is to sign up with Everyclick, a charity search engine that donates 1p for every web search you make.
It's powered by Yahoo so the search results are not Google quality. The way to get the best out of Everyclick is to turn on your autofill and enter exact URLs or easy search terms (for sites like hotmail and bbc news), like so:
Click on the picture to maximise
Then when you want to search something complex, just go to Google via Everyclick. So far I've earned £978.
The fourth is to fill up your Everyclick autofill with the URLs of the following free charity clicks:
Click to Give http://www.clicktogive.com/
Ecology Fund http://www.ecologyfund.com/ecology/_ecology.html
The Hunger Site http://www.thehungersite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=1
Improving Your World http://improvingyourworld.org/
Land Care Niagra http://www.landcareniagara.com/
One Click, One Meal http://www.oneclickonemeal.com/
Solve Poverty http://solvepoverty.com/
And there are many, many more free charity click sites listed here http://www.thenonprofits.com/
The fifth one (we're nearly there) is to regularly visit the Daily Action sections of the Greenpeace website and the Amnesty website, to see what E-Actions you can take, for free.
And finally, speaking of E-Actions, sign up to the BeMencap newsletter so that Mencap can email you with their E-Actions such as petitions, and emails you can send to your MP.
Then, you too, can be just like David Cameron with his ever so noble Big Society ideal..that somehow incorporates the destruction of people's jobs and lives.
Good luck this year everyone. We'll all need it.