Friday, 2 December 2011

Frankie Boyle Joke Generator

Frankie Boyle has a new book out and according to the reviews, it’s offensive.

I know, who’d have thought?

He writes about the Queen being gang raped, Kate Middleton dying, makes fun of Cameron and Brown’s disabled kids and describes two comedians he doesn’t like, being fucked to death and being raped by Nazi monkeys respectively.

I don’t know about you, but I am not offended by any of that.

Not because I’m amoral or a heartless bastard, but because it’s all so ‘by numbers’.

Soft target + offensive buzzword = edgy joke. Apparently.

Unfortunately for Frankie Boyle, the law of diminishing returns dictates that his joke formula is starting to equal a big fat yawn fest. As someone sick to death of him mocking disabled children, this makes me happy.

Anyway, around the time of the book coming out James wrote an article for Viz about Frankie Boyle bravely setting up a TV appearance in South Africa where he was planning on calling Nelson Mandela a cunt, live in front of the nation, and hail it as a new departure in his no holds barred comedy approach.

The article didn’t get printed in the end, most probably due to the fact that there was a full-page advert for Frankie Boyle’s tour in the issue it was pitched for.

You can’t really slag someone off who has paid for advertising space in the same pages.

I won’t recreate the article here as James might want to use it again elsewhere, but the joke generator he put at the end of the piece needs to see the light of day, as it is the perfect satire of Boyle’s writing style. Enjoy:

Do you long to be as hilariously daring as the original bad boy of British comedy, Frankie Boyle? Well now you can, thanks to our special patented Automatic Frankie Boyle Edgy Joke Writer. Simply pick one phrase from each of the four columns below and say them in order in a slightly angry sounding Scottish voice:

Column A
Wouldn't it be great if

Column B
Stephen Hawking
Desmond Tutu
Her Majesty the Queen
Jordan's wee kiddy
Amy Winehouse's Corpse
Dame Tanni-Grey Thompson
Sir David Attenborough
Rolf Harris

Column C
Got raped in the arse
Got injected in the arse with AIDS
Got brutally murdered. In the arse

Column D
By Peter Sutcliffe
By Colonel Gaddaffi's Corpse
In New York on September 11th
By Hitler
By a lesbian paedophile
By Al Qaeda
In Aushwitz
By Ian Huntley's cock

Now go forth and get your very own Channel 4 shows!

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