Monday, 5 December 2016

His & Hers

During one of my many charity shop treasure trawls recently, I found a most coveted item. A game by Paul Lamond. Purveyor of such awfulness as Jason Donovan, Straight from the Heart, which I have played so you don't have to, and Lenny Henry's Stand-Up Comic Game, which I possess but have yet to play. (Stay tuned, I will get the strength up eventually)

The game is His & Hers: The Battle of the Sexes

I could probably leave it at a picture of the box tbh

The aim is to find out which sex is bestest. This is achieved by asking a series of questions to players according to their gender. Pink side of the question card for the ladies, blue side for the men. Obvs. Your response is awarded a certain amount of points. Once totted up these points can scientifically tell us which gender wins life.

Let's see how we do:

Ladies first. And we have a dinner party quandary for you. Think hard, it's a tough one

Now a sexuality question for the men (the right answer is signposted quite heavily lads)

And now a poser for the gals that, if asked in court, would elicit the cry "leading the witness your honour!"

Who do you think is winning so far? Feels like nobody

Next up. A question on the arts

Now that we have put ballet dancers to rights, let's tackle ethics. Careful how you go now

It's all fun and games until someone admits to historic sexual offences!

Some final questions on the workplace and we can tot up the scores:

What decade was this? I hear you cry. Well, the questions sound like they're from the 70s, the box looks like it's from the 80s, but alas, this was 1991. Yes, it's easy to forget in these 'every other letter to The Metro bemoans the cruel hegemony of the PC Brigade' times that we haven't been PC for long, and being PC (or respectful - technical term) is actually not that bad.

And now for a bonus historical yet newly topical question, for these Brexit days. A question about our entry into the EU, or Brentry if you will:

UK = Mostly C

So now that our brief foray into the broader horizons of Europe is over, we can go back to being the narrow minded dicks we were in 1991. And indeed already have in some quarters.

I can't leave the game on that note, it would be no fun. So one final bonus question for you. And it's one you can now answer retrospectively. Unfortunately no points can be awarded, cos you cheated by travelling forward in time 25 years:

And that's GAME OVER. Next time, Lenny Henry. Unless you pay the ransom.