Wednesday, 8 April 2009

Some more Spamming the Spammers...



Another conversation with a spammer. More to follow...

Spam Email

FROM: MR. KOFFOUR KOTEY. THE MANAGER INTERNATIONAL COMMERCIAL BANK GHANA FIRST LIGHT BRANCH ACCRA, GHANA. ATTN: I GOT YOUR CONTACT DURING MY SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE, HONEST AND A TRUST WORTH PERSON TO ENTRUST THIS HUGE TRANSFER PROJECT WITH. MY NAME IS MR. KOFFOUR KOTEY. I AM THE MANAGER OF THE INTERNATIONAL COMMERCIAL BANK GHANA, FIRST LIGHT BRANCH. I AM A GHANAIAN MARRIED WITH TWO KIDS. I AM WRITING TO SOLICIT YOUR ASSISTANCE IN THE TRANSFER OF US$8,500.000.00 THIS FUND IS THE EXCESS OF WHAT MY BRANCH IN WHICH I AM THE MANAGER MADE AS PROFIT DURING THE LAST YEAR. I HAVE ALREADY SUBMITTED AN APPROVED END OF THE YEAR REPORT FOR THE YEAR 2005 TO MY HEAD OFFICE HERE IN ACCRA AND THEY WILL NEVER KNOW OF THIS EXCESS. I HAVE SINCE THEN, PLACED THIS AMOUNT OF US$8,500.000.00 ON A SUSPENCE ACCOUNT WITHOUT A BENEFICIARY. AS AN OFFICER OF THE BANK, I CANNOT BE DIRECTLY CONNECTED TO THIS MONEY THUS I AM IMPELLED TO REQUES T FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE TO RECEIVE THIS MONEY INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. I INTEND TO PART 30F THIS FUND TO YOU WHILE 70HALL BE FOR ME. I DO NEED TO STRESS THAT THERE ARE PRACTICALLY NO RISK INVOLVED IN THIS. IT'S GOING TO BE A BANK-TO-BANK TRANSFER. ALL I NEED FROM YOU IS TO STAND AS THE ORIGINAL DEPOSITOR OF THIS FUND. IF YOU ACCEPT THIS OFFER, I WILL APPRECIATE YOUR TIMELY RESPONSE. PLEASE RESPONSE TO THIS ALTERNATIVE E-MAIL ADDRESS WITH REGARDS. MR KOFFOUR KOTEY. N:B :- PLEASE KINDLY FORWARD ALL CORRESPONDENCE TO MY ALTERNATIVE EMAIL ADDRESS FOR UNWARD COMMUNICATION AND SECURITY REASONS. THANKS FOR YOUR CO-OPERATION AND UNDERSTANDING. REGARDS. MR. KOFFOUR KOTEY

Monty's Reply

Hello

You came to the right man, I am indeed honest and trustworthy.

So, you have too much money eh? I wish that was my problem! Between my season ticket for the train to work, mortgage, hookers and bills I'm lucky if I can afford to eat at the end of each month.

What do I have to do to help you unload all this spare money?

Nothing illegal I hope.

I had a friend who went to prison and it is no picnic let me tell you. He came out a changed man.

I'm far too pretty for prison. And I would miss being able to just pop out and do whatsoever I pleased. Not that I gallivant about willy-nilly, I'm quite a homely type, but you know what I mean.

OK Koffour my old chum, I look forward to chatting with you.

Love Monty

Koffour's Reply

Thank you for your timely response. As I did explain in my very first message, I stashed this fund out of the profit made in this branch of the International Commercial Bank Accra Ghana where I head. I have already submitted an approved Financial report for the year 2005 to my Head office and the entire Bank will never know of this excess. The transfer is a bank-to bank and should be made to your chosen foreign account from my head office here in Accra. The modalities I have mapped out to actualize the transfer of the fund involves the following steps: Step1: I will program your full names and address on the entire database of the International Commercial Bank as the depositor and the beneficiary of the fund. Step2: I shall issue a backdated deposit slip of the fund to your name. Step3: I shall provide you with a draft of an application for transfer that you are going to forward to my Head office since all International transfers are carried out from there. With the above steps, my head office will immediately carry out the transfer of the fund to your chosen bank account. Such transfers from my Head Office takes not more than 72hrs. I would like to stress that this transaction would cause no grief to either of us. The scenario involved here is similar to that of a person who banks with a particular bank and at a point in time, wishes to close his account or transfer the fund to another bank of his choice. With your names duly programmed on the Database of the bank, you are practically a customer of our bank. In your response, please include the following as I would need them in all the steps as mentioned above.:- 1, your full names, 2, your complete physical address and 3, your direct telephone and fax numbers. Your earliest response would be appreciated. Sincerely, Mr Koffour Kotey

Monty's Reply

Hi Koffour Koty!

Can I call you KoKo? I will anyway.

How have you been?

I have been really well.

I have been taking these evening classes in violin making. So far I have made a small viola. I am so proud of it. I fashioned it out of oak and varnished it so it looks shiny. It's totally unplayable but a real beauty.

Anyway, enough about violin making.

You wanted my contact details.

Please note that I am currently residing in Disneyland's California resort (it's a long story) if you call up and ask for me you will be put through:

Monty Smythe 1313 Harbor Blvd Anaheim CA 92802-2398 (714) 533-6840

Chat to you soon hunny

Lots of love and kisses

Monty xx

Koffour's Reply

Hello Monty, Thanks for your prompt response Well I am glad to tell you that I will programme your name in the data base of my bank with the information you just sent me. So by next week Monday or Tuesday I will issue you the backdated deposit slip and also send you a draft of application format which you will complete with your personal information, transtype it in your letterheaded paper and fax it to my head office for the immediate closure of the escroll call account and transfer of the fund to your designated bank account,But before that I will like you to send me a copy of your international passport or national identity for me to put a face to whom I am about enthrusting my life time opportunity with. Meanwhille, get back to me immediately with a call today on the receipt of this mail for oral discussion. Best Regards and have a nice weekend. Mr Koffour 00233 2421 88108

Monty's Reply

Hi Koko

How are you today? I am tired out! I spent all of yesterday at sea. Check it out.



Anyway, I am glad to see our business transaction is going along nicely.

I have several others on the go at the moment.

It's amazing how many people in Africa have heard of me and want to do business with me! I must have made quite a name for myself as a sharp business mind. Which is odd because my mum used to say, "you're so effing useless I'm surprised you can even tie your shoes" and then she would hit me with a broom handle. Which leads me to my next point.

I would love to call you and have an 'oral discussion' but I am completely deaf. My deafness came about when my mother hit me around the head when I was younger.

Email me back soon

Stay gorgeous

Monty Xxx

Koffour's Reply

Monty, How are you today? I trust you are doing good. Matter of fact, I looked forward towards receiving your call over the weekend but to no avail and here you are now telling me that you are deaf. How come now? Below was your statement in the last paragraph of you previous mail to me where you send me your contacts to do the programming work ''Please note that I am currently residing in Disneyland's California resort (it's a long story) if you call up and ask for me you will be put through '' unquote. You actually told me that and how come you suddenly become deaf within two days.? Please I will like you to put me through with your real self because I have already started the programming which will be through by wednesday. You will have to be communicating my head office through email, faxes and phones call while I will by the side to guide you on what and what to do. So how and what do you do if they call you on phone. This bussines is my life and need not to be toyed with, tell me the way forward Monty. Koffour Kotey

Monty's Reply

Hi Koko

I'm not too bad thanks.

Still a bit tired from my naval expedition yesterday.

I can't believe I forgot to tell you I was deaf before!

You haven't caught me in a lie though my dear Koko. If you had called me at Disneyland you would have been put through to me. My hotel room had a textphone for the deaf:

http://www.schooltrain.info/deafness/technology_deaf/telephones.htm

I hope this clears up the confusion and assures you I am not 'toying' with you.

Love and kisses

Monty x

Koffour's Reply

Hello, What is you full names? How old are you? What is your occupation? What is your marital status? Send me the copy of the front and back page of your international passport or any national identity or driving licence for my records. Get back to me with the requested information for the completion of the database programming in your name as the original depositor of the fund. Have a nice day Koffour Kotey

Monty's Reply

Hello Koko

It's lovely to hear from you again.

How are you today? You've gone all businesslike! I love it.

I have just eaten a whole tube of pringles in one sitting. I feel a bit sick.

Below is the information you wanted. I feel like I'm on Blind Date. You know, "what's your name, where do you come from" and all that!

Name: Montgomery Smythe.

Age: 39

Occupation: I am a contract killer and part time sailor.

Marital status: Married but my divorce is pending. She is shacked up with some wanker called Matt. She met him at Homebase whilst buying a water feature for our garden. I can't bear to look at water features anymore.

Now, you say you want a copy of my ID. I must say Koko that as much as I trust you (a lot) I have been advised by my friend Mike that this is not advisable.

If you really think it's necessary then I will see what I can do, but Mike says it could be a scam. It's not a scam is it?

Monty xxx

Koffour's Reply

Hello, Thank you very much for your mail. But what did your friend Mike meant by scam? Please I will advice you to remove friends out of this.only you and I knew about this fund and I will not allow a situation whereby you go exposing this business to anyone because of the security of this deal ok.keep it away from friends for now until the fund is transferred to your account then you prove your Mike wrong. I don`t need your passport for any selfish reason but I only need to put a face to whom I am enthrusting my once in a lifetime opportunity in his name. You can send me a copy of your driving licence or national security identity. Business is all about trust and confidentiality. This is about eight million dollars we are talking about my friend not eigth thousand dollars. I will send you the backdated deposit voucher issued in your name as depositor of this fund by tommorow with a draft of application format which you will fill in with your banking co ordinates and send to my head head office by friday for the immediate tranfer of the fund to your nominated bank account. Monty,I will once again advice you to keep friends out of this for security purpose until fund is tranfer to you for our disbursement. You can then call on them for merriments. Have a wonderful day and try to send me some of the pringles you are consuming alone at a sitting. Mr Koffour Kotey

Monty's Reply

Hi Koko

Of course I'll send you some pringles! What flavour would you like?

I assure you I did not break your confidence.

My friend Mike walked in when I was typing you an email and he read over my shoulder. He is a sneaky bugger. Don't worry though, I killed him. He won't be bothering anyone ever again.

Here's my passport:



I look forward to concluding our business.

Monty x

Koffour's Reply

Hello, You are pranking. How come your passport is like that? Koffour

Monty's Reply

Hello Koko

That is a very hurtful accusation.

I am a good man and certainly not a cheeky prankster as your email infers.

You asked for a copy of my passport and there you have it.

It is a novelty passport I grant you, but it is my passport nonetheless.

I am not allowed out of the country so I have no need for a proper one.

Is this going to cause a problem?

The only other ID I have is my buss pass:



Does this cause a problem?

Lots of love

Monty Xxx

Koffour's Reply

Hello I can't trust you. Bye

Monty's Reply

Koko

I am deeply sad that you feel you cannot trust me. I can't understand why.

Just because I have a fake Star Trek themed passport and only a buss pass as ID. It's unfair.

I loved you.

I still love you.

I will always love you.

I killed my friend Mike to protect you.

The police want to speak to you about that actually.

Apparently your failure to report me to the authorities when I first confessed to the murder makes you an accomplice.

If I were you I would lay low for a while.

Yours, forever

Monty xxx

2 comments:

Nino said...

Hahaha... This is hillarious! You're a genious. Keep on with this, it's brilliant.

Christina Martin said...

Thanks Nino! Much appreciated :)